


Need

by gestaltrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, Gods, Incest, M/M, Multi, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-22
Updated: 2011-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-15 21:03:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gestaltrose/pseuds/gestaltrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel, Sam, and Dean are investigating something for one of their dad's old friends and things go from bad to worse when the thing they are after traps them together and sets up a spell of desire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for lj community help_haiti. Way back in January '10 lj user dazeyhaze bought my services and then the laptop died and soon after my main computer died and my daughter had gall bladder surgery and the muse went away. lj user dazeyhaze was uber awesome and let me be very very late. First Posted Aug '10.

Castiel was scared. He hated it. He was more frightened than when he woke up and found that Jimmy was gone. He had been in his host’s body but with no host. He no longer had a buffer in the brain and body he inhabited, it had nearly driven him insane. It took him the longest to get used to feeling. Not, as one might expect, love or fear but actual feelings, the wind against his cheek, the brush of clothes against his skin it had all been overwhelming.

But he had coped, pushed the feelings aside. Built a kind of virtual Jimmy in his head so he still had the buffer or thought he did. Right now, facing down this thing knowing it could hurt him, really hurt him, fear rose up and put a choke hold on his breath. Then what the thing said before locking them in the darkness made him weep.

*********

Two days earlier:

“Castiel,” Dean called out.

Castiel tried to stop the small jolt of joy that came whenever Dean, or Sam for that matter, said his name. He was tuned into Dean so when he called, if Castiel could, he would show up.

Following the link he had with Dean, he found himself in another small hotel room. “Yes?” he asked after he had materialized. Dean and Sam both jumped and it did something inside him. . .made him feel uncomfortable and yet he liked it too, that’s why he kept doing it. He could have used the door, if he’d wanted to.

“Cas,” Dean said, “I wish you would stop that.”

“You needed me, you called. What’s wrong?” Castiel questioned him.

“Well,” Sam spoke up, “I. . .Dean. . .we. We were wondering if. . .”

Normally Sam was quite loquacious. Castiel wondered what was going on inside of Sam’s head that was making him so hesitant.

“Shit, Sam,” Dean snapped. “He’s going to think we’re up to something.”

It hadn’t even occurred to him that they might be _up to something_.

Turning to Castiel, Dean looked in his eyes. “Will you come with us?”

“Where?”

“Santee, Nebraska,” Sam said.

“Why?”

“Jeff Hinto, one of Dad’s contacts called us. He’s got a problem,” Dean started to explain. “People in his town, people visiting,” Dean clarified. “They seem to be falling under a spell.”

“All of them?” Castiel asked.

“Not all, but enough to be suspicious.”

“They all fall between the ages of eighteen and forty,” Sam added.

“What is the spell? What does it do?” he asked slightly concerned because Sam and Dean fell in the targeted age range.

Sam blushed and Dean looked down. What could it be? “Something to do with sex, I assume,” he said after neither one answered him.

“People pair up, randomly. It affects them for about half a day and then they are let go with no memory of what happened or so they claim,” Sam explained while not looking at Castiel or Dean.

“Claim?” Castiel asked.

“I think. . .” Sam paused.

“Sam thinks they remember. But they can’t or don’t want to talk about it.”

“You're forgetting the two that tried to commit suicide. I know they remembered something,” Sam interrupted Dean.

“Anyway,” Dean snapped out, like this wasn't going the way he'd planned. “Sounds like a spell to me. You want to come with us?” he asked.

Dean asked. Castiel considered this more than what they were asking. Dean rarely asked him anything. Sam also apparently wanted him to come. “Why?” Castiel asked again. “It doesn't sound demonic, it’s not likely I’ll need to assist you.”

“What do you do when you’re not with us?” Sam asked.

“Wait,” Castiel answered a little curious as to why they were asking after all this time.

Dean and Sam exchanged a look. Sam’s seem to say ‘I told you so.’ Dean said ‘I was wrong, so what?’ Castiel didn’t find it weird that he could read their expressions, he had spent most of his time here on Earth with these two humans and most of their communication was non verbal.

“Why?” he asked again.

“We just want you to come with us,” Sam said. “Will you?”

Uncertain, Castiel hesitated.

Sadness seemed to envelop Sam. “I told you,” he said to Dean.

“If you hadn’t. . .” Dean replied before Castiel cut him off.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Two voices rang out at the same time. Dean and Sam both had an odd relieved look in their eyes.

“Yes, I’ll go with you,” Castiel spoke with conviction.

“Great!” Sam exclaimed as he grabbed his bag from the floor, pulling the strap onto his shoulder.

Dean didn’t say anything but he seemed equally pleased. They got on the road. It seemed odd and at the same time comforting (though he couldn’t have explained how if asked) to be riding in the car with Sam and Dean instead of just showing up where they were headed.

Once he was firmly ensconced in the back seat and they were traveling, he decided to ask a question that had been on his mind. “What about the couplings bothered you, Sam?”

Sam jumped and quickly turned to look at him. “What?”

“Something is bothering you… about the couples. The way they pair up or something else. What is it?”

Sam faced the front of the car again. Castiel watched as his ears turned bright red and how Sam very carefully didn’t look in Dean’s direction. “The spell. . .it doesn’t seem too particular about who is who.”

Castiel was confused. He was never quite clear of social norms when talking about sex. Dean seemed to talk about it, a lot. However, he rarely did anything about it, Castiel knew, he’d been watching. Sam on the other hand, rarely spoke of it at all. It was kind of odd considering what sexual, sensual creatures these humans were.

He could, if he let himself, feel wonderful things. Before he’d gotten himself under control he had jerked off, at least that's what he thought Dean had called it, and it had been. . .mind blowing. That these creatures of his father were able to feel such wonderful things, it amazed him that they didn’t just go insane from the beauty of it all.

They must have a filter, like the one he’d had to create, just so life didn’t overwhelm them, Castiel concluded. But that didn’t help him when it came to sex.

“Meaning?” he asked Sam for some clarification.

“Meaning,” Dean said, “it seems to affect whoever is closest. Sex of the person doesn’t seem to matter, neither does relation.”

“Sex or relation?” Castiel questioned them.

“Boys with boys, girls with girls, Family members with other family members,” Sam nearly snapped. “It seems to have to do with proximity, as long as they fall into the age range, the spell doesn’t specify whom they need to be with, just that they need to be with someone. ”

Sam sounded defensive, probably the same sex thing. He'd noticed that humans seemed to have very odd norms when it came to sexuality. He could honestly say that no one in heaven was judging anyone based on an old tribal law that was outdated by a few thousand years. But he didn't think Sam would believe him. It was do unto others and love one another, those were the important things.

Castiel wasn’t going to judge anyone. However, he had no way of convincing Sam of that. “What do you think?” he finally asked.

“Sam thinks that they knew what they were doing but were unable to stop. According to Jeff, no one is filing charges because they remember it being consensual, but they don’t remember why,” Dean said. “I think that's why there where suicide attempts. The guilt of knowing that they did this, that they wanted to with a family member.”

“Both suicide attempts were family members?” Castiel inquired. “But if it was done without their will, why would they feel guilty?” he wondered out loud and then he answered himself. “The thing left them with just enough memories to allow for guilt.” He nodded. “What could cause this?”

“A few supernatural entities could, a particularly strong spirit is also a possibility,” Sam replied. “But there’s even more to consider. Santee is home to the Lakota Sioux.” He looked back at Castiel.

Castiel nodded. That would complicate things more. What did he know about Lakota gods? “Iktomi?” he asked after a long silence.

“Their Trickster?” Dean asked and then nodded. “Maybe,” he conceded. “We really need to talk to Jeff.”

Castiel sat back in his seat and watched the world flash by outside the window. There was nothing more to say right now.

Dean called Jeff before they got into town. Jeff asked to meet them outside of the city limits and they agreed. Sitting at a diner about twenty miles from Santee, they quickly got down to business.

“What do you think is going on?” Dean asked Jeff.

“At first I thought it might be Wakinyan, because the first ones this happened to. . . well it was really his style.”

Sam nodded and explained, “Wakinyan is the thunderbird, the contrary one. So I’m guessing the first few ‘match ups’ were his kinds of style? Rich with poor, young with older?” Sam asked.

Jeff nodded. “And it was just locals and they found it kind of funny,” he said. “Until the tourists became involved, and there was incest and the suicide attempts. . .it seems to be escalating and I don’t know what to do. That’s why I called you.”

Sam and Dean nodded. “I could speak with those it happened to, I can tell if they are lying,” Castiel volunteered.

“Do you have a list of where people were affected?”

“Where?” Jeff asked.

“If we can get an idea where it started from maybe we can figure out where it’s heading,” Sam said. “Is there someplace I can plug this in?” he lifted his laptop.

“Sure,” Jeff said. “Here is a list of the people who have been involved with this. Some have gone home,” he said as he handed the list to Castiel.

“I’ll go with Cas,” Dean said and Sam nodded.

They left. “What do you think it is?” Dean asked when they were alone. “You’re hiding something.”

“I’m just. . .unsure,” Castiel said his voice hesitant.

Dean turned and looked at Castiel. “About?”

“Doesn’t it seem weird to you?” Castiel asked.

Pulling over the car, Dean turned and gave Castiel his full attention. “Weird? This coming from you?”

“Never mind,” Castiel said turning to look out the window. He couldn’t explain the unsettling feeling in his stomach.

“Fine,” Dean snapped before pulling back out on the road.

They questioned all the people they could find and who would agree to speak to them, most wouldn’t, or couldn’t, even with Castiel calming them. The people that would talk were the ones who had thought it humorous. They mentioned hearing music and the memory loss, were the only things in common. The feelings, the urges that everyone couldn’t stop were similar but not the same.

After they talked to everyone who would talk to them, Dean and him headed back to meet up with Sam. Sam had better luck because all he had was data, he didn’t need to talk with reluctant or angry witnesses, because he wasn't the one asking uncomfortable questions. He had narrowed their search for whatever was causing this to three areas.

After dinner they decided to tackle it in the morning. Sam and Dean slept while Castiel waited for them to wake up.

*********

In the morning they went out hunting. Castiel thought that Sam and Dean were getting closer to figuring out what was going on. Castiel too, was slowly getting the shape of the thing. It wasn’t evil, at least not the evil of demons, neither was it good. Whatever it was seemed to be randomly specific and getting more so.

It was still affecting people, but now it really seemed to be focusing on siblings. Castiel felt sorry for the pair they had found that had just been released from the spell, or whatever it was. They were brother and sister and could hardly stand being in the same room.

Castiel convinced Sam, Dean and Jeff to leave them alone and let them talk. Standing outside the door, he listened to their awkward conversation trying to figure this thing out.

“But he said we wouldn’t, that we couldn’t feel it unless something was there Mike,” the woman spoke quietly yet forcefully. “The music, remember the music.”

“Hmph,” Mike grunted.

“It was like he knew. He knew what we would do. Don’t you fucking tell me you didn’t want to. Shit!” the woman cursed.

“Calm down Molly,” Mike said. “He said it himself: you get upset, he wins. We just need to forget this happened, and. . .”

“And what?” Molly asked.

Castiel pushed open the door. Both of them turned and looked at him with worried expressions on their faces. Castiel concentrated for a moment before lowering his hand. Turning he nearly ran into Dean.

“What did you just do?” Dean asked.

“They wanted to forget, so I let them. What happened won’t be popping up in dreams even twenty years from now. There will be no attempts of suicide,” Castiel explained.

“Excuse me,” Mike interrupted them. “Can you tell me what happened? Why are Molly and I here? Where is everyone else?”

Jeff had overheard Castiel’s explanation, walked in. “You were found wandering. Your families have missed you and the detective here,” he nodded at the police officer who was standing by the door, “will take you back to your hotel.”

“Good,” Molly said, before she walked to the door and followed the detective out.

“Thank you,” Mike spoke up and shook everyone’s hand before he followed his sister out the door.

“Did you find out anything?” Sam asked after they watched the car drive off.

“They referred to a ‘he' and said that he told them that if they get upset he wins,” Castiel said.

“Does sound like a trickster,” Dean said as they stood by their cars. Jeff nodded.

“If it is, then this should be over soon. Iktomi was never known for sticking around in one place for too long, he’s got some other tribe to bother,” Jeff explained. “Sorry for dragging you boys out here for nothing.”

“We’ll stick around for a day or so, just to be sure,” Dean said.

“That’s what your old man would have done. I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Jeff said, and Castiel watched as Sam shifted his body so he was more focused on Dean. Watching Dean subconsciously notice before he stood up a little straighter filled Castiel with a warm glow. Almost any time someone mentioned their father, they did this. Castiel wasn’t even sure they knew they did it, supported one another this way.

Dean nodded and they got into the Impala, Sam automatically shifting in his seat so he could face Dean. Castiel again wondered about what was habit and if there was something else going on.

“The woman also mentioned some music,” Castiel said as they pulled out onto the road. “I’m not sure this is over.”

They drove around town, to places that Sam had identified as possible places where ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ was, might be. Finally they called it a night. Sam and Dean slept while Castiel again waited. Early the next morning they headed out of town, with one last place to check.

*********

Dean glanced at Sam as the asphalt turned to gravel. Sam nodded so Dean kept driving. They pulled up outside an abandoned farmstead. “Here? Really?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“No, I just picked this spot so you could yell at me,” Sam snapped and pulled on his door handle.

“I think we should. . .” Castiel didn’t finish his sentence because he was alone in the car.  
He frowned. This place felt weird. Getting out of the car, he yelled at the boys. “Wait!”

Sam stopped his hand on the door and Dean stopped on the second step up to the porch both of them turned to look back at him. Then, Sam’s eyes glazed over, just before Dean’s did and he pulled the door open and walked into the house.

Castiel could have left, but it would have meant leaving Sam and Dean to whatever was in the house and he would never do that. His bad feeling about the place only got worse as a tune reached his ears. It didn’t do anything to him, but his faux Jimmy in his head wanted to go and see what was going on.

Castiel felt his cock get hard. _Humans and their bodily functions_ , he thought crabbily as he pressed a hand against his hard on, and he followed Sam and Dean inside.

Entering the house, Castiel looked around trying to figure out what was going on. The room was illuminated by the light coming in the windows. The broken windows, Castiel noted as the drapes stirred in the morning breeze. He jumped as the door slammed shut behind him. Dean didn't even appear to notice, he was focused on Sam who was heading down some stairs into a cellar. Castiel wanted to yell but he found that he couldn't. Trying to rush forward and grab Dean, he realized he couldn't do that either.

Dean followed Sam and Castiel followed Dean. Even though he believed he could go, he had the will to, but he still couldn't leave his friends. There was a melody unlike any Castiel had ever heard before, and he had heard a whole lot of music in his exsistance. The song seemed to speak to his Jimmy, and he assumed that it was affecting Sam and Dean as well.

A light came on and the music stopped. Castiel glanced around. There was a mattress on the floor in one corner, a bottle of something sitting next to it. The room itself was windowless and their only point of escape was the stairs. At the top of them appeared a man holding a cedar flute in the shape of a twisted headless horse. “Iktomi,” Castiel said the god's name without thinking.

The god smiled. It wasn't a pleasant smile, reminding Castiel of a shark. “Oh how lovely, I am blessed. And here I was thinking I had used up this place. An angel, and two brothers,” he laughed and clapped his hands together. “I should get enough guilt out of the three of you to remain corporeal for a damn long time.”

It was then that Castiel had a glimmering of how this was going to go. He still had his Jimmy, though, so he wasn't too worried. Iktomi played his flute and Castiel watched as Sam and Dean turned to one another. Sam pushed Dean back until he was against a nearby wall. Lifting his head to meet his brother's eyes, Dean seemed to challenge Sam. Leaning in, Sam pressed his lips to Dean's.

Castiel looked away. Not because he was embarrassed or mortified, but out of respect for the love that the brothers had for one another. Iktomi stopped playing the flute and watched Sam and Dean making out. Then he looked for Castiel.

“I know you are different,” the god spoke directly into his mind. Then Castiel could feel as the god rifled through his memories. “You have no host!” Iktomi exclaimed out loud and Castiel heard the happiness in his voice. “You are human, you should have the full experience.”

He waved his hand and Castiel felt his faux Jimmy disappear as if he never was. “Now you can feel everything.” Itkomi turned and walked up the stairs. Castiel felt terror dribble down his spine like cold water as the realization of what just happened hit him. Itkomi shut the door, and Castiel heard the music start again. He started to cry as wave after wave of emotion rushed over him, overwhelming his ability to control himself.

Castiel jumped as Dean slid his arms around him and pulled Castiel close. It was too much as Sam stepped up behind him and wrapped his long arms around the both of them. Castiel fainted.

Slowly, reluctantly, Castiel awoke. Before he opened his eyes he took stock of himself. He was on his side lying naked on something soft, probably the mattress he'd seen. There was a slight breeze blowing across his face, he could smell sex. The musky odor of sweat, come, and lust mixed together made his cock stiffen.

Before he could wonder where the breeze came from he heard a chuckle. Opening his eyes he saw Dean was sprawled out next to him. Dean was looking at him in a way Castiel hadn't seen before. At least never directed at him. It made a warm feeling start to grow in his stomach and his cock got harder. Dean smiled and it just got worse.

“I wasn't entirely sure you even had one,” Dean said looking at the erection jutting out from Castiel.

Castiel flinched as a long arm came around from behind him and hit Dean. _Sam_ Castiel identified who the arm belonged to. As he realized that Dean lay naked in front of him, Sam was equally naked behind him, his heart began to race. The smell of sex then had to come from the two of them.

It didn't disturb him as it once might have. He had been around these brothers long enough to know that they loved each other more than anything and love was what life was for. Also, there was the low thrum of music that seemed to play in his head, he assumed that it was part of the reason the boys had given into the longing that they would have died denying even existed.

Trying to pull his thoughts together wasn't working the music invaded everything. He would need to make sure that Sam and Dean didn't feel guilty when this was over because that was how the god got his power. Then Dean pushed a hand against his cock and Sam pushed up against him. Castiel could feel Sam's cock was as hard as his as it rubbed against his ass cheeks.

“S..s...s..sam,” Castiel hissed. Dean leaned in and kissed him. It was overwhelming. The softness of his lips. And then Dean licked him. Castiel gasped, and Dean didn't hesitate. Leaning in, he pushed Castiel on his back as Sam moved out of the way. Dean's mouth was locked on Castiel's, his tongue asking Castiel to open his. Castiel waited a moment, just to take everything in, and Dean started to pull back. Reaching out, Castiel grabbed Dean's head, his palm flat on the back of his hair and moved to kiss him.

Sam, meanwhile, had moved so he could touch both of them. The warm grip of Sam's hand wrapping around his cock made Castiel moan. Lightning bolts of desire shot through his body as both Sam and Dean touched him. Reaching out a shaking hand, Castiel touched Dean's warm side. It was amazing how soft and smooth his skin felt, Castiel's fingertips were tingling as he brushed them across Dean's chest.

The tune was still playing, and for a moment, Castiel listened to it. For a brief second of clarity, he thought about what Iktomi had said. There was something there, he could feel the shape of it. If only he could concentrate for more than two seconds at a time, he might be able to get them all out of here. Then the hands roaming his body broke his concentration.

He wanted this. He wanted them and it seemed they wanted him too. “Dean,” he gasped as his friend moved closer and pushed their cocks together. Frottage, he'd heard the word, but never understood why anyone would do it. Now he did. Moving again, Sam slid behind Dean, and Castiel watched as he ran his lips over Dean's shoulder. Both Dean and Castiel moaned as Sam reached between them and wrapped a slick hand around their cocks.

Briefly, Castiel wondered where Sam had got the lube, having forgotten seeing it earlier, but as the friction against Dean's cock and Sam's hand affected him, he gave up thinking. Sam leaned across Dean and captured Castiel's lips. It was bliss, he decided, pure and simple bliss. Giving in to the emotion he came, his eyes rolling back in his head as he struggled to keep his consciousness.

Dean's cock throbbed against his as Castiel realized that he had come too. Watching as Sam lifted his come covered hand and licked at it, Castiel's eyes went wide. What must it taste like? He realized he wanted to know. Sam must have caught a look from him, because he held the hand up to Castiel's mouth his fingertips brushing across his lips. Slowly, in a daze, he opened his mouth and let Sam's come covered finger dip inside.

Flavors exploded across his tongue. It was a bit bitter and sour, but considering the content it was one of the most amazing things he had ever tasted. He sucked at Sam's fingers and opened his eyes to find Dean gazing at him with lust filled eyes. “Natural,” he murmured and Sam hummed in agreement.

His tongue was twisting around Sam's fingers, seeking out every last bit of his and Dean's come. “Don't swallow that,” Sam commanded him, and he couldn't help but obey. Dean leaned in closer and licked at Castiel's lips. Wondering how he was supposed to kiss Dean with come still in his mouth, he gave Dean a pleading glance.

“Give it to me,” Dean murmured against his lips and Castiel complied. Dean's tongue swept his mouth to get the last of their come.

Castiel moaned again at Dean's obvious pleasure. “More,” he demanded.

“More what?” Sam's voice was rough with need.

“Everything.”

Dean rolled and looked up at Sam. They again had one of their non-verbal communications only this time, he couldn't read them. They appeared to come to an agreement. Standing up, Sam's arousal was very apparent, Dean reached out and ran his fingers across the leaking tip. Sam's eyes closed and his cock jumped, hitting his stomach. He pulled Castiel to his feet and moved the angel to stand in front of him.

Castiel swayed a bit, still recovering from his orgasm as Dean got up and moved behind him. For the first time since his filter had been banished he lost all his fear. What would be would be, and they would deal with it, together. Pulling him closer, Sam leaned down the little bit needed to kiss him, and Castiel kissed him back. His cock stirred again as Sam pushed his erection against Castiel's stomach.

Dean was rubbing against Castiel's backside. He moved closer and closed his mouth on the back of Castiel's shoulder. Biting down hard made Castiel moan into Sam's mouth. Sam pulled back and looked at his brother with a small grin on his face. “I think he likes it.” Reaching down and around, Dean found Castiel's stiffening member before biting down again. Castiel's cock jumped in Dean's hand.

“I think you're right,” Dean's lips brushed against his bruised skin as he spoke. Ecstasy tempered by pain was very powerful, at least to Castiel. He moaned with loss as Dean and Sam both let him go. In moments they were back. Sam invited him to kneel on the bed, but before he could do whatever he had planned, Castiel reached out and stopped him. Wrapping his hand around Sam's cock he pulled the man to him.

“Cas, you don't have. . .” Sam's voice trailed off as Castiel's mouth closed around him. Giving him his complete attention as only an angel could, he sucked and licked making note of where Sam was the most sensitive. Sucking Sam all the way down to the root, his cock deep in Castiel's throat had Sam and Dean both moaning. Backing off he licked around the head of the cock before sucking on the tip, flavor after flavor bursting across his tongue. Sam tasted different than he and Dean had. Sharper, with a hint of sweetness that made Castiel crave more.

Sam put his hand on Castiel's head. Looking up he could read the desire and longing in Sam's face. He drew Sam back down his throat. “Cas,” Sam gasped out warning just as the cock started throbbing in his throat. He moved to the end of Sam's cock was where he could taste him and he shuddered with delight as Sam's come flowed over his tongue.

Dean knelt beside him as he released Sam's cock from his mouth and drew him closer. Lips and tongues met as Dean kissed his brother's taste out of Castiel's mouth. There was a thrum of melody and Castiel moaned. “More,” he demanded.

Castiel was rewarded as a hand ran down the crack of his ass, fingertips brushing against his hole. Jumping a little in surprise made Sam stop. Castiel turned his head and looked at Sam, who was staring at him like a starving man at a buffet, but he stayed still. Sam's gaze flickered up to Castiel's and then to Dean who leaned in. “You don't have to,” he said.

Castiel knew it for a lie. He did have to, he needed this. “Please,” he begged and he let out a sigh of relief as Sam's hand touched him again. This time, they were slick with the lube that Sam had found. Slowly he pushed one finger inside Castiel. It was an odd feeling, but Castiel's nerves felt like they were on fire as Sam moved his finger in and out of him.

Two fingers pushed in as Dean lay down in front of Castiel. He lost track of what was happening as Dean put Castiel's cock in his mouth. Thrusting forward into his hot mouth, he didn't notice as Sam pulled his fingers out until he pushed back and there was something larger pressing at his hole.

Knowing if he tensed up it would hurt, he relaxed. The head of Sam's cock pushed inside him and Sam moaned. Castiel held still, breathing deeply and trying not to pass out again. Between Sam and Dean, it was too much. Dean noticed and pulled back from him so he could see Castiel's face.

“Need a break?”

Sam pushed all the way inside him as Castiel tried to answer Dean's question. What had he asked? Dean glanced at Sam then pushed himself up so he could reach his brother. Castiel could hear them kissing over his shoulder, and then Sam pulled out slightly and pushed back inside him, his cock brushing past something that made Castiel's cock jump.

Pain and pleasure combined again to bring Castiel close to ecstasy. “Sam,” he didn't know what he was asking for, but he knew he needed something.

“Not yet” Sam leaned over and whispered in his ear before pulling him up, Castiel's back to his chest. Dean, his hand smeared with lube, ran it up and down Castiel's hard cock.

“So big,” Dean murmured appreciatively. Castiel moaned with loss as Dean let him go but then his breath caught as Dean turned in front of him.

“It's easy,” Sam said as he reached around and gripped Castiel's hard cock as Dean got on his knees in front of them. Sam slowly guided him until his cock was pressed against Dean's hole. Dean pushed back against him and he closed his eyes in bliss as Dean slid around his cock. It was too much.

He put his hands on Dean's back as Dean moved, pushing back until his cock was fully engulfed by him. Dean moved smoothly, as though he had done this before. Castiel moaned as he realized who he'd done this with before, just earlier. _Sam_. Sam moved as if he knew what Castiel was thinking, pushing inside and pulling back out.

It took him a few moments to get beyond the emotions that were filling him and then he started to move, with Sam setting the pace. In and out, as Sam pushed in and pulled out. Then Dean started to move quickly, pressing back against him and Castiel lost his pace his hands finding Dean's hips, his fingertips pressing hard enough that there would be bruises later.

Sam could see his brother's loss of control and he began to speed up. Castiel threw his head back as Sam bit down on his shoulder as he thrust into him. He came, thrusting into Dean as Sam thrust into him and then he blacked out again.

Coming around, the first thing he did was find Sam and Dean, they again lay on either side of him, Sam in front this time. “Sorry,” he murmured the apology.

“I can only wish that I could come like that,” Sam said.

Castiel shook his head, that wasn't what he meant. Dean pushed up against his back, wrapping an arm around his chest and Castiel leaned back. This was going to end badly, he could see that, just from what Iktomi had said. He needed guilt, and right now there wasn't even a hint of it in the room. It hurt his heart to think of this love that Sam and Dean had twisted into something reprehensible.

The door opened at the top of the stairs and light spilled across their bodies. The music that had twined into their souls stopped, and suddenly Castiel was very aware that he was _naked_ with _Sam_ and _Dean_. From the looks that they exchanged they were as aware of it as him maybe more so. They scrambled for their clothes as the spell of lust fell away, and all they were left with was embarrassment and shame.

The god laughed with delight. “Feel free to leave when you want to.” Castiel glared up at the monster that made them feel this way. He grinned at Castiel just before turning and disappearing.

 _Disappearing._ The thought made him want to hit his head on the closest wall. Why hadn't he tried disappearing before everything had happened? Then he wouldn't be feeling like the lowest form of life on earth. There was an echo of laughter from the stairs.

They filed out of basement, though the living room and out the door. Castiel paused on the steps that they had climbed hours before, the sun wasn't quite setting but most of the day was gone. Watching as Sam and Dean walked to the car in silence, not a glance between them, filled Castiel with sadness.

“Come on,” Dean snapped at him. “We've got to tell Jeff what happened.”

Castiel nodded as he stepped down the stairs. He supposed they did. Wrapping his trench coat around him looking for comfort he couldn't find, he got into the car. This trip was much different that the ride there. The silence was strained with words that no one wanted to speak. Pulling up outside the hotel, they all sat in the car. Castiel didn't dare speak and it seemed like neither Dean nor Sam would.

Finally, Dean opened his door and got out and Sam glanced back at Castiel. The terror that he was feeling must have shown on his face because Sam tried to comfort him. “It'll be okay, just give him time.”

“This is all my fault,” Castiel admitted.

“How do you figure that?”

“I have powers, I could have. . .I should have gotten us out of there.”

Sam laughed and Castiel quickly looked at him. He wasn't laughing at him, Castiel could tell. “Cas, I couldn't have strung a complete sentence together. I certainly didn't think of it and I wouldn't expect you to.” They both jumped as Dean banged on the hood of the car.

“If you're done bonding we still need to call Jeff,” Dean snapped again. Castiel looked at Sam in confusion and Sam just shrugged and got out. Castiel followed. He was still without his filter, whatever Iktomi had done it was sticking. He was frightened and every brush of his clothes against his body reminded him how vulnerable he was. Trying to pull himself together before he walked into the room was helpful, because once he stepped inside everything fell apart.

“Don't you fucking blame him,” Sam was speaking furiously to Dean.

Dean gave Sam a look of pain underlined with longing that Castiel was sure he wasn't supposed to see. “It's okay,” Castiel said. “I blame me.”

“Cas,” Dean said his arm moving to hold his hand up to Castiel. Castiel saw, but Dean didn't the look of jealousy and pain that flashed across Sam's face. He had to try to fix this before he disappeared to try and rebuild his buffer. Just standing there, smelling the stale sweat and musk of both men, had him longing for something he could never have. It made him want to weep.

“Let's call Jeff,” Castiel said turning away from Dean. He watched Dean's arm fall out of the corner of his eye.

Sam was dialing. “Jeff?” he said to the man on the other end. “We've got news, not sure if it's good or not. You want us to meet you. . .? Oh okay. Yeah, we're all here. See you in a few.” Sam hung up the phone before he fell back on the bed. “Ten minutes,” he said with his arm covering his eyes.

Dean opened the fridge and pulled out two beers, pressing one against Sam's arm until he sat up and took it. They both took long pulls on their bottles, and Castiel didn't know where to look. Finally, he got up and got himself one. Maybe alcohol would help dim everything. Missing the looks that Dean and Sam both threw him he, drank the beer down in long gulps.

He slammed the bottle down on the table and sat, staring at nothing, waiting for the alcohol to work. Just as he was about to get up for another beer someone knocked on the door. He felt an unreasonable terror that it was Iktomi back to take them again. He stood, knocking over his chair. Sam was moving to open the door, while Dean was staring at him like he'd lost his mind. He couldn't catch his breath. and then Sam opened the door. It was Jeff. Of course it was Jeff. Picking his chair up, Castiel wondered if he was going to survive being human.

“Hi, Sam. You said you had news.”

“Yeah,” he said as he stepped back to allow Jeff into the room. Castiel watched as Jeff took in the three of them and their body language.

“Oh shit, it caught you.”

Dean nodded.

“It was Iktomi like you thought,” Castiel said. “Your town might be in for some trouble.”

“What do you mean?” Jeff asked, as he sat across the table from him.

“He's feeding off of the guilt, he said that with. . .” Castiel fumbled for words and Dean came to his rescue.

“With the guilt he was going to get from us, he was going to be able to be corporeal for a damn long time,” Dean said.

Jeff seemed to understand what they were talking about without them having to spell it out. He considered what they had said with a seriousness that didn't make Castiel think he was taking this lightly. “Honestly, it might make him a little easier to deal with,” Jeff finally said.

“What?” Sam asked.

“They have rules, just like people do. If I remember right, if he's taken a human form then he can be killed like a human. I wonder if he remembers that?”

“Why would he want to become something that gave him a weakness?” Castiel asked.

Jeff gave Castiel a wink. “It allows him to receive worship in a direct way. But can't you stop him?” He waved his fingers around, “You know, with the memory thing?”

Castiel shook his head. “He already has more than enough... maybe not enough for a year but. . .” he looked down at his hands.

“I see,” Jeff said quietly. “I'm sorry.”

“How do we kill this god? Would cedar stakes work?” Dean asked venom dripping from his voice.

“I need to speak to our shaman,” Jeff said.

“Fine, do what you need to, we'll be here.”

Jeff stood and walked to the door, Sam following. “Sorry, Jeff. It's just. . .”

Jeff hand gripped Sam's arm. “It's okay, I understand,” he said and then he left.

They were like some frozen tableau until Dean snapped at Sam. “You don't apologize for me.”

Sam's shoulders were slumped, like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. Turning, he didn't say a word as he moved beside the bed to pick up his beer. Finishing it, Sam slammed it back down on the table. “I wouldn't do it if you weren't such an asshole.”

“Oh, I'm an asshole now?” Dean got up and into Sam's face.

Sam laughed and it wasn't a nice laugh. “Dean you are such a bottom.”

Dean punched Sam, and Sam then launched himself at Dean. Castiel stood and tried to get out of their way. Trying to figure out how this had happened, Castiel missed seeing Dean take a swing at Sam, and Sam ducking. Which is how he ended up flat on his back with his face hurting.

Sam and Dean froze as Castiel lay there. Castiel lay there, stunned. He couldn't take this anymore. Waving his hand, he could see the anger and the emotions that the anger was standing in for, the guilt and sorrow, drain away.

“Cas,why are you on the floor?” Dean asked.

Castiel didn't want to lie so he didn't say anything as he picked himself up. He couldn't stay here, not now. His face would end up telling these friends of his everything. So, he did the only thing he could and disappeared.

*********

Two days later, after he had patched up his inner shield at least a little bit, he gave in and responded to Dean's calls for him.

“You called?”

Dean and Sam both jumped. This time it only made Castiel sad.

“I've been calling for you since you left. We,” he corrected himself after Sam coughed, “we've been calling for you.”

“I was busy,” he admitted finally.

“So you weren't captured or anything?” Sam asked, looking him over carefully.

“No,” he said.

“We know,” Dean said quietly and Castiel looked at him. It hurt, the thread of longing that wound around his heart when he looked at Dean, but he did it anyway.

“We know that you did that thing with our memories. We talked with Jeff,” Sam spoke just as softly as his brother.

Castiel looked at Sam thinking it would be easier, it wasn't. “Yes, I did,” he finally admitted.

“Why?” Dean asked, and Castiel looked around the room to see if there was maybe an answer glowing in ten foot letters on the wall. There was nothing.

“Because you were suppressing your feelings, turning them into anger and hatred. I couldn't let Iktomi win like that. I couldn't let that happen,” he finally admitted.

“Suppressing our feelings, it's the Winchester way,” Sam tried to joke.

“Look,” Dean said, “we know that whatever happened, happened because we wanted it to.” Dean's words were like a knife twisting in his heart. Maybe he hadn't spent enough time away. “Whatever it was, it was consensual.”

Castiel nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Jeff spoke with his shaman and the whole tribe performed a banishing ceremony. Iktomi has been sent away. Not just to another place here but away,” Sam informed him.

Castiel cocked his head at Sam, trying to figure out what exactly Sam was getting at.

“So he can't feed off of us. You can just. . .” he waved his hand around, “Give us back our memories.”

Longing rose up and nearly strangled him. He waited, trying to catch his breath. He wanted them to remember, he wanted them to love him. He wanted it so much he knew it was wrong, selfish and wrong.

“You don't understand,” Castiel was going to pound this into their thick skulls even if it hurt him. “You hated what you had done. You couldn't look at each other, let alone have a civil conversation. You were awkward and uncomfortable and even cruel.”

“But that's because we couldn't remember how it happened. Couldn't you give us back those memories, those feelings too?” Sam asked hope in his eyes.

Could he? He thought about it, before nodding to himself. He could. Looking at Dean for confirmation that this was what he wanted too, Dean nodded and blushed. It was quite becoming, Castiel decided. If it were possible, he would try and make Dean blush more. Reaching out, he gripped Sam's hand with his left hand and Dean's with his right, before he released the blocks on their memories. All of the blocks.

His virtual Jimmy came back, and Castiel gasped in relief, before realizing everything that it meant. He didn't have to feel. But did he want to?

Dean had Sam pushed up against the door, and was kissing him for all that he was worth. Castiel gave them a look of longing before turning away. He would go, three was a crowd, at least that was what Dean had always told him.

He was stopped by a hand on his sleeve. Dean. “Stay, please.” _Stay please_ , he wanted to, oh how he wanted to but this wasn't for him. He wasn't human.

Lost in his thoughts he was startled when his coat fell to the floor. “Shower first,” Sam said pushing him toward the bathroom.

 _First._ He liked the sound of that, because something always came after first.


End file.
